Recently, just a couple of moments prior to church, a man I didn’t know came up to me to tell me this story. It seems the day prior that Dave had spoken during the Dead Theologians meeting on the subject of conflict resolution in a marriage. The man’s *posturing* may have been a follow-up or a continuation of that conversation. Getting down on one knee in the absolute front row of the auditorium, this man proceeded to tell me, with a smile on his face and a chuckle in his voice that every time he and his wife have some sort of disagreement, after a few minutes they pause. They look deep into each others eyes. And they laugh. That’s IT. That’s all he said. He then quickly got up off the one knee and blended in to the rest of the congregation seated behind us.
Now, I have yet to ask Dave if he put him up to this and you can rest assured I will. I don’t know the man. I don’t recall ever having seen him either. I don’t have a clue as to why he delivered this particular message to me at this particular moment in time, 
BUT what I do know is that he and his wife have hit on something that works. Humor. When the boat of marital communication seems like it is going hopelessly under for the last time, it isn’t time to patch the hole. It’s time to abandon the ship and try a life vest instead. Laughter is a great life preserver. Looking for something to laugh about, even if it is the foolishness that is ourselves, is a wonderful marriage saver.
When Dave and I met, we were both attending a small Christian college in Southern California. We had a few classes together one of which was entitled Communication: Key to Your Marriage. If I’d known then that I was going to marry this guy seated next to me in class, I would have paid better attention. I didn’t (He did…or at least he was hoping!). Man-o-mister, has that neglect on my part returned to bite me in the behind over and over again. Communication between my dear David and me has been one of THE most difficult parts of our marriage. When I hear the word “communication”, I automatically think of talking. What I should think of automatically is listening. Any one can talk, but few people listen well. When two people, coming from two completely different backgrounds, endeavor to build a lasting relationship they NEED to learn to listen to one another, and not just with the head. They need to learn to listen from the heart.
Now, girls, I know we all CAN do this. We practice it daily with our children. But when was the last time you practiced 
“listening with the heart” to your husband. When was the last time you ASKED him what he thought about something and then stuck around long enough to listen to his reply? And when was the last time you sat down with this wonderful man God gave to you way back when or even just yesterday and asked him what his plans were for your marriage?
Every girl goes into marriage with a plan. We want husbands who cherish us, who lay down their lives for us, and who willingly seek to meet our every need. We want them to listen, to love, to protect, to honor, to nurture and to provide. But how often do we allow the tables to be turned so that we are the ones listening to what these men of ours have in mind for the remainder of our marriages? Men are really pretty simple you know. They usually don’t want much.
God created us as women for a purpose. A part of that purpose was to come alongside our husbands and to listen, to allow these guys of ours to pour their thoughts, their goals and their dreams into our ears, our hearts and our futures. I can already hear some of you saying, “But what if my husband doesn’t have any hopes, goals or dreams?” He does. He just hasn’t shared them yet. It may be he hasn’t shared them because he senses you’re too busy. It may be he hasn’t shared them because he doesn’t think you’ll like them. It may be he hasn’t shared them because he doesn’t want to be ridiculed. But you can be assured, he has goals and hopes and dreams. Now, he may not have BIG hopes and goals and dreams. He may not have the types of hopes, goals and dreams that YOU think are significant. But he has them, tucked away somewhere in the quiet places of his heart, and he just needs a gentle, compassionate, passionate woman to draw them out of him. He just needs you to care.
Now, I am not naive. I am aware that there are unreasonable men out there who if given an opportunity to spout off as to their wish-lists, would so burden the hearts, hands and shoulders of their dear wives that the girls might not be able to get up off the floor when they were done talking. Those are foolish men. If you are married to one of these, you have a 
much tougher road to follow than I have had. But it’s not an impossible road. God delights to take the broken things of this world (and a marriage where a husband is behaving foolishly is one of them) and transform them into something He can use for his honor and glory. Go to your GOD. Tell him of your heartache. Ask Him to make it right. Listen to Him as he whispers His compassion into your tired ear. Draw on His strength to make it through another lonely day. And press forward with a God-given resolve to love and to listen to this guy of yours until he gets it right.
And when all else fails, laugh. Yes, you read that right. Laugh. Learn not to take yourself or your marriage so seriously. Recognize that life is short and he who laughs loudest and most often, lives long and lives well. As a famous 
modern-day philosopher has said, “Life is like a box of chocolates; sometimes you don’t know quite what you’re gonna get.” SO laugh. Laugh because you got caramel when you were looking for a creamy center. Laugh because the box was mislabeled and you ended up with Skittles instead. Laugh because life is short. Laugh because it is good for your soul and healing for your tired body. Just….LAUGH!
The Old Stone Wall 